Know Thyself: a philosophy on stress management
2006-06-12
Know Thyself
In my previous article I outlined a three-step philosophical analysis of our values for managing internal stress: Examine beliefs and values, dream the ideal lifestyle and work on attaining it. The first stage of this process is to answer the question, "Who am I?"
Being a foreigner in Japan, for example, offers special times and experiences. But we may work long hours, making tiresome commutes on crowded trains. Even touring Japan and visiting nightspots can be stressful. Then there is often a language barrier. We have left the comfort of family, friends and community. Why? To answer this question we need to know what we value. We must examine such values to know who we are.
To do this we use "The Web of Belief," as described by Jeffrey Olen in his book, "Persons and Their World: An Introduction to Philosophy." Picture a spider web. Your core beliefs and values are at the center; the outer edges represent those that are more superficial. Breaking the outer edges account for small changes in one's life. Breaking the web near the center can destroy it.
The core values of survival and personal security are at the center and the second level is happiness. The outer layers are beliefs, which help attain our core values. The core beliefs have strong intrinsic worth, while the outer edges, which are justified by their ability to attain core beliefs, have strong extrinsic worth.
Let's use the example of a person who wants to spend more time with his or her family but works 10- to 14-hour days. This is the source of his or her stress. This person must have value(s) that have higher priority than family time. Certainly, they could be survival and security. These may drive poor people living in some Asian countries that work in "sweat shops." For people who work to upgrade their houses, cars, furniture and clothes, however, survival and personal security aren't why more time is spent at work than home. Once survival and security appear catered to other values, such as respect, power and success could be the values that dictate our behavior to attain happiness.
Many animals that live in communities such as other primates and kangaroos seem to also value respect. Fighting one's way up the social ladder is a natural practice. Instead of physical fighting, humans use other methods to climb the social ladder. Wealth and possessions are highly valued in Western societies. Displaying wealth and possessions or job promotions could be methods of gaining respect.
Telling subordinates what to do or having people ask your advice motivates some to gain promotions and climb the company ladder. Achieving a high position in the company is a method of gaining more power. Success is about overcoming odds and fears. Risk-taking such as taking a large loan or promotion can be an important tool for success. When we overcome adversity, even though self-imposed, we attain a feeling of success. The personal drive for respect, power and success can motivate behavior. Let's call this group of values the "Values of Ambition." These types of people may say they enjoy being with the family, but it would appear from their behavior that the values of ambition outweigh family values.
Identifying value conflicts that cause stress
Ask anyone what they would do if they were wealthy, and, for most, buying expensive items would be high on the list. Why is this? The purchases could be fulfilling our Values of Ambition and showing people that we have finally "made it in this world." Naturally, most people prefer respect to disrespect, power over no power, and success to failure. Once the values of survival and security have been satisfied fulfilling the Values of Ambition can motivate behavior. One should not feel guilt but joy that these values can be satisfied. They could lead to happiness. However, stress can occur when there are conflicts of values or behavior.
Consider another set of values. One example is the value of nurturing. A mother nurturing a child conjures strong and emotional images. Also, from the beginning of civilization fathers have provided food and security for the family. There can also be a value for helping others. Imagine a person trapped under a fallen tree. There would be a strong desire to help that person rather than leave him or her in peril. We could group these as "The Values of Love." They are at least as strong as The Values of Ambition.
A conflict of values can occur when one set of values dominates another set of equally strong values. That is, we don't find balance in our lives and this leads to stress. We can also have a conflict of methods to fulfill our values. This could occur when our attempts to fulfill one value run counter to another.
With this in mind, we can ask ourselves some questions: Do I really need to show the world how important I am with my possessions? Probably not, the people I consider important will probably respect me for who I am and what I have done rather than what I possess? Does the behavior to fulfill one value override other equally important values? My drive to satisfy my ambition could hinder other people such as family, friends, and even strangers from leading happy lives. This could run counter to the Values of Love. There may be other ways to fulfill my Values of Ambition. Can one behavior fulfill two values? Can my behavior to fulfill ambition also help other people?
Lets return to the question of why we stay in Japan. Working here can be stressful. However, most of us do so voluntarily, so it must contribute to our happiness. Are the Values of Ambition and Love being fulfilled? Are other values that contribute to happiness, being fulfilled? Answering these questions can explain our reasons for being here. We have a terrific chance to know more about ourselves and to know who we are.
To know oneself one is to know what one values. The Web of Belief can help us discover ourselves. Once we feel our value of survival is catered to, the values of happiness, such as ambition and love, become priorities. They are the third level of values in our web of belief. Stress can occur when they are at odds with each other or when our methods to attain them are at odds with other values. The first step of our stress-management program is to understand these values and methods, and thus know who we are.
For more information about Michael Lancaster's stress management philosophy e-mail him at: micklancaster1@ybb.ne.jp To learn about the personal training he offers at Tipness Fitness Club visit the Japanese-language Web site at: http://www.tipness.co.jp/index.html.
